Dieting is never easy. Then you throw in life and it gets real interesting. Being a Gemini, born in the year of the monkey, I don't have a chance of being consistent. I am always all over the map. Well, this is no exception. Being a single mother of two, money is always and issue and this issue raised it's ugly head this week. I did some extra things last month that have come back to bite me this month. You might ask how does money affect your diet? Well, let me explain, first of all to eat healthy it costs more. The amount of calories I have to eat to maintain weight loss is 1400 calories. The biggest myth in dieting is the less you eat the more you lose. That is completely untrue for me. This weekend I completely reverted to diet so all day and a salad at lunch. Well, I didn't lose any weight. Then yesterday, I had pizza and soda...well, next day you pay. I am bloated from the soda and very irritable. I gained back 1.5lbs and I feel awful.
During the last two weeks of losing and drinking my water, using OL, I felt amazingly better. But now I feel fat and grumpy. I will prevail and move forward, but the stress of not having enough money to take care of my responsibilities is also taking me to the limit and stress is proven to be a factor in weight loss. So while I recoup and get back on track please send me positive thoughts and I will meet you on the other side of this set back.
Monday, April 26, 2010
Saturday, April 17, 2010
Didn't think it was working...
So it goes to show me...just when I think I am not making progress or that I am not doing things correctly, surprise! I was following the diet, somewhat. Started to lose interest in writing things down and quite frankly sometimes it's easier not to eat anything than to eat healthy. But somehow I did it. I have now lost 6.1 lbs. It's amazing how motivating it is to see the scale actually move. I haven't been in the 180's in over a year and to think I only have a couple of pounds to go before I am there is pretty exciting. It cuts down on the desire to cheat or to mess up. I don't really crave bad for me food but the problem that I have always had is being lazy. It really does take planning and effor to eat healthy and sometimes it is just easier to hit the drive through or pick up that pre-packaged item. But now that I have seen the difference I want to exercise. Last week I hit the WII fit for 15 minutes twice but other than that, nothing. But now, I want to get out my Slim in 6 that I haven't touched and see what that is all about. Success is definitely motivation for sure!
Thanks for keeping up with me!
Thanks for keeping up with me!
Friday, April 16, 2010
Day6 Blah week.
Day 7 is tomorrow. I haven't lost anymore weight, still staying steady at 193.1. I am encourage though, because I am usually up and down, up and down about 4-5 lbs. I haven't done a lot of working out this week and about Wednesday, I started feeling very blah. I have advised that this is just due to the detox process. Next week, I plan to start moving the bod more and really kicking it into high gear. Stay tuned!
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Day 4
Today is my 4th day on Kirstie Alley's Organic Liaison. I think I finally go past the soda withdrawal. The only problem now is the same problem I have had in the past. I love fast food and creamy rich food. I especially love cheese. I am not a fan of cold veggies and hate salad. So, I didn't eat until 3pm today, which doesn't help the weight loss. I go into starvation mode because I would rather not eat than eat a salad. So looking for alternatives, I am sure I will find one. I have to work out some more but I am confident that the weight will start falling off.
Saturday, April 10, 2010
Organic Debate
I have had some people question the choice of Organics. Some people, even the little stocker guy at Publix told me that Organics aren't any better they just cost more.
Well, I am not an expert but let me share a couple of personal stories about food additives that hit home with me and make me want to try at least to limit the various chemicals that I have been putting into my children's and my body.
When I was in my twenties I lived in Germany attached to the 11th ACR with my now X-husband. He was in the army. I worked with a girl who's husband had become very violent. He was physically abusive in a terribly scary way. But if you met him he was a doll. He was very sweet and helpful. No one could understand that out of the blue he would have these mega-violent outbursts which caused him enormous trouble in life obviously. While in Germany he went to a doctor who began testing him for allergies because he was having other troubles with sinuses. While testing for allergies regarding sinuses they tested him for other allergies and found that he was allergic to MSG. MSG, from what I understand, is a food additive added to many, many things we eat all the time. Chinese food is the one thing that comes to my mind when I think of MSG. But there are many other things too.
This was told to avoid MSG at all costs. When he asked why it was so important the Doctor told him that it would effect his mental state. It could cause him to act out violently, be delusional, etc. He and his wife were amazed. I don't even remember his name, but I do remember the outcome of the story. He started avoiding MSG and his violent behavior completely stopped. We knew it was the MSG because one night we ordered Chinese in and that night when they got home Lisa called me crying saying they got into a fight on the way home and he had put his foot through the front door when he couldn't get it open fast enough. I called the restaurant and asked if their food had MSG and they said yes it did. So there you have it. Chemicals can do all kinds of random things to us we can't even begin to understand.
Another example I have come across hits more close to home for me. I have a daughter who is now almost 12 years old. When she was just 10 years old she started her period. I was completely shocked. I started at 12, my mother started at 12, my grandmother, my sister Cami, with whom I grew up. Why was my kid starting so early? It worried me, she just wasn't old enough mentally to handle it. Well then I spoke to my mother and my younger sister who is now 23, I think also started at 10 and so did my sister who is 26. Is this an odd coincidence? Well according to my daughter's pediatrician, it isn't. It is widely understood that the meat we eat is treated with antibiotics and human growth hormones. So is milk. So because of the human growth hormones our children can physically mature faster. I don't like that we didn't get to vote about whether or not it was acceptable to add this chemicals to our foods. Our government is approving the safety of these products they know the side effects but they don't share the informaiton on the package and we don't get to choose.
What do you this about this topic?
Well, I am not an expert but let me share a couple of personal stories about food additives that hit home with me and make me want to try at least to limit the various chemicals that I have been putting into my children's and my body.
When I was in my twenties I lived in Germany attached to the 11th ACR with my now X-husband. He was in the army. I worked with a girl who's husband had become very violent. He was physically abusive in a terribly scary way. But if you met him he was a doll. He was very sweet and helpful. No one could understand that out of the blue he would have these mega-violent outbursts which caused him enormous trouble in life obviously. While in Germany he went to a doctor who began testing him for allergies because he was having other troubles with sinuses. While testing for allergies regarding sinuses they tested him for other allergies and found that he was allergic to MSG. MSG, from what I understand, is a food additive added to many, many things we eat all the time. Chinese food is the one thing that comes to my mind when I think of MSG. But there are many other things too.
This was told to avoid MSG at all costs. When he asked why it was so important the Doctor told him that it would effect his mental state. It could cause him to act out violently, be delusional, etc. He and his wife were amazed. I don't even remember his name, but I do remember the outcome of the story. He started avoiding MSG and his violent behavior completely stopped. We knew it was the MSG because one night we ordered Chinese in and that night when they got home Lisa called me crying saying they got into a fight on the way home and he had put his foot through the front door when he couldn't get it open fast enough. I called the restaurant and asked if their food had MSG and they said yes it did. So there you have it. Chemicals can do all kinds of random things to us we can't even begin to understand.
Another example I have come across hits more close to home for me. I have a daughter who is now almost 12 years old. When she was just 10 years old she started her period. I was completely shocked. I started at 12, my mother started at 12, my grandmother, my sister Cami, with whom I grew up. Why was my kid starting so early? It worried me, she just wasn't old enough mentally to handle it. Well then I spoke to my mother and my younger sister who is now 23, I think also started at 10 and so did my sister who is 26. Is this an odd coincidence? Well according to my daughter's pediatrician, it isn't. It is widely understood that the meat we eat is treated with antibiotics and human growth hormones. So is milk. So because of the human growth hormones our children can physically mature faster. I don't like that we didn't get to vote about whether or not it was acceptable to add this chemicals to our foods. Our government is approving the safety of these products they know the side effects but they don't share the informaiton on the package and we don't get to choose.
What do you this about this topic?
First Day!
Hi Everyone,
First day of the rest of my skinny life. I started Organic Liaison for real today. I weighed this morning and I weighed 196.5 lbs. My BMI is 33.47 or something close. My measurements are as follows, Chest is 44" Waist is 42" Hips are 45" at least I am in proportion. :0p Then my neck is 13" and my thigh, get this, is 24" my waist used to be 26" after I had my kids. It was 18" prior to that. Man, this is not fun. My arms are 13" at the top. So day one all logged in.
First impressions. I feel a little out of sorts. I don't have food in the house I can eat except unsweetened Almond milk which I got at Publix on the cereal isle. (Just in case you are looking of it in Lakeland.) Sixteen ounces of Almond milk is only 80 cals. and I love it! I am drinking the Rescue Me and I am having that same feeling in my tummy. Like something is going on but it is not unpleasant. So, now I have to go to the grocery store so I can get some more food to eat.
Kirstie's diet, or Organic Liaison says to eat snacks but the diet for Thyroid says rest 4 hours in between breakfast and lunch and 6 hours between lunch and dinner. I am going to to that for my Thyroid.
Ok, so that is that. I will post again around lunchtime to let you know how I feel and what is going on.
Thank you for all the great energy you are sending me and your support!
Love you! Tisha
First day of the rest of my skinny life. I started Organic Liaison for real today. I weighed this morning and I weighed 196.5 lbs. My BMI is 33.47 or something close. My measurements are as follows, Chest is 44" Waist is 42" Hips are 45" at least I am in proportion. :0p Then my neck is 13" and my thigh, get this, is 24" my waist used to be 26" after I had my kids. It was 18" prior to that. Man, this is not fun. My arms are 13" at the top. So day one all logged in.
First impressions. I feel a little out of sorts. I don't have food in the house I can eat except unsweetened Almond milk which I got at Publix on the cereal isle. (Just in case you are looking of it in Lakeland.) Sixteen ounces of Almond milk is only 80 cals. and I love it! I am drinking the Rescue Me and I am having that same feeling in my tummy. Like something is going on but it is not unpleasant. So, now I have to go to the grocery store so I can get some more food to eat.
Kirstie's diet, or Organic Liaison says to eat snacks but the diet for Thyroid says rest 4 hours in between breakfast and lunch and 6 hours between lunch and dinner. I am going to to that for my Thyroid.
Ok, so that is that. I will post again around lunchtime to let you know how I feel and what is going on.
Thank you for all the great energy you are sending me and your support!
Love you! Tisha
Friday, April 9, 2010
Got My Organic Liaison
Well good news! I didn't have to wait long...something like a day, to get my Organic Liaison. It is packaged very prettily which of course is important. I got the introductory kit which is the Rescue Me Elixer it is a pump bottle that has juice extract and lot's of good stuff. Vitamins, Biotin, Zinc, Chromium,Selenium. Then the Release Me which is simple, lemon juice, calcium and magnesium to drink warm for better absorption and of course lemon aids in balancing ph. Then Nightingale which is more Vitamins and L-Tryptophan, which is the same stuff that is in Turkey to make you sleepy.
I have tried the Rescue Me, it tastes like Cranberry Juice and is tangy. I like it. What it does though is kind of make your stomach feel like it is contracting. The only thing I can liken it to is when I drank dieter's tea at one point. It literally makes me feel like I am digesting something therefore, I am not hungry. So far so good. Let me also say that I am very, very, very sensitive to my body and it's reactions to things so you may or may not feel the tummy clenching thing but it definitely feels like something is going on in there. It is a good feeling. I have drank less than half the bottle and I am slowing down drinking. Usually I am thirsty and hungry all day. But really more thirsty. I have to have an iced down soda beside me at all times and I have drank anything but rescue me since 1pm today.
I haven't tried the other two yet, but will blog when I do. I am really anxious to see what next week brings. Just planning this journey has gotten me up and energized. I hope it just keeps getting better and better.
I also want to purchase the two additional products which are economical they are Relieve Me, which is a colon cleanser and Pagoda which is a green tea concentrate you take with lunch. Both with shipping cost $38 almost $39 which is in line with any of those products out in the stores.
So look for the Video Blog Installments 2 and 3 at Facebook and thanks for your support.
Love You!
I have tried the Rescue Me, it tastes like Cranberry Juice and is tangy. I like it. What it does though is kind of make your stomach feel like it is contracting. The only thing I can liken it to is when I drank dieter's tea at one point. It literally makes me feel like I am digesting something therefore, I am not hungry. So far so good. Let me also say that I am very, very, very sensitive to my body and it's reactions to things so you may or may not feel the tummy clenching thing but it definitely feels like something is going on in there. It is a good feeling. I have drank less than half the bottle and I am slowing down drinking. Usually I am thirsty and hungry all day. But really more thirsty. I have to have an iced down soda beside me at all times and I have drank anything but rescue me since 1pm today.
I haven't tried the other two yet, but will blog when I do. I am really anxious to see what next week brings. Just planning this journey has gotten me up and energized. I hope it just keeps getting better and better.
I also want to purchase the two additional products which are economical they are Relieve Me, which is a colon cleanser and Pagoda which is a green tea concentrate you take with lunch. Both with shipping cost $38 almost $39 which is in line with any of those products out in the stores.
So look for the Video Blog Installments 2 and 3 at Facebook and thanks for your support.
Love You!
Thursday, April 8, 2010
To All The Haters Out There
Hi guys! Believe it or not, there are actually haters out there for Organic Liaison already. Actually I don't think it is just Organic Liaison, I think it is just anyone who thinks differently from him. So let me address him and anyone that is hating on people choosing to live in their own way.
Here it goes, first of all, this guy is on Twitter and his twitter name or whatever begins with URNOT...well, who the F%&# are you? You don't flippin' know me or anyone else you don't live with or in their skin so right there tells me...Nimrod, right? He asks me why I chose Organic Liaison...then I looked at his Twitter page...let me say this, I don't really get Twitter, I am a self professed hermit, like my crab...I don't get out much and I don't bother anyone and I certainly don't get on a soap box much...until lately, must be an ascending moon or something. Anyway, his page has all this stuff about fitness and what things are good or bad for us blah, blah, blah...which ok, that's nice, but it is all hater stuff like who is wrong about stuff. Who the f^&%$ cares? You know, diversity is where it's at man. I am just minding my own business and you Tweet at me and start up with this stuff...on his page he writes...no one from Organic Liaison is wanting to stand behind the product and no one that is using it is speaking up about why they use it. He says they won't put their "science" on the website and are very vague.
Well here it is Granola (fruit, flake, and nut) and I won't be vague. I decided to go with Kirstie Alley's plan, Organic Liaison, because of it's founder and the energy that it is presented. Look, is it the perfect diet? I don't know. What I do know is the website is really a lot of fun and Kirstie is friggin' hilarious and she is real. I identify with her because I am a single mother of two, I was skinny, now I am fat, I want to lose weight and I want it to be fun and interesting. So far from what I have witnessed with Phitter (Kirstie's Twitter for OL fans), her tweets, her interviews, Kirstie is very down to earth. She is doing something she believes in and this program speaks to me. So in lieu of drinking 2- 2 liters of pepsi and eating fast food at least 4 times a week, I am getting excited about drinking an elixir in a cool looking bottle and eating organic foods. I don't care if it is food coloring in that elixir and talc in the mixes...I am excited about eating real food for once and exercising and some guy in a I -think- I- am -super sexy athlete costume and a hater attitude didn't get me there, Organic Liaison and Kirstie Alley did....so suck it Mr Hater and anyone else like him. Leave me the hell alone and I will do you the same favor....Goodnight my loves, Love you!
Here it goes, first of all, this guy is on Twitter and his twitter name or whatever begins with URNOT...well, who the F%&# are you? You don't flippin' know me or anyone else you don't live with or in their skin so right there tells me...Nimrod, right? He asks me why I chose Organic Liaison...then I looked at his Twitter page...let me say this, I don't really get Twitter, I am a self professed hermit, like my crab...I don't get out much and I don't bother anyone and I certainly don't get on a soap box much...until lately, must be an ascending moon or something. Anyway, his page has all this stuff about fitness and what things are good or bad for us blah, blah, blah...which ok, that's nice, but it is all hater stuff like who is wrong about stuff. Who the f^&%$ cares? You know, diversity is where it's at man. I am just minding my own business and you Tweet at me and start up with this stuff...on his page he writes...no one from Organic Liaison is wanting to stand behind the product and no one that is using it is speaking up about why they use it. He says they won't put their "science" on the website and are very vague.
Well here it is Granola (fruit, flake, and nut) and I won't be vague. I decided to go with Kirstie Alley's plan, Organic Liaison, because of it's founder and the energy that it is presented. Look, is it the perfect diet? I don't know. What I do know is the website is really a lot of fun and Kirstie is friggin' hilarious and she is real. I identify with her because I am a single mother of two, I was skinny, now I am fat, I want to lose weight and I want it to be fun and interesting. So far from what I have witnessed with Phitter (Kirstie's Twitter for OL fans), her tweets, her interviews, Kirstie is very down to earth. She is doing something she believes in and this program speaks to me. So in lieu of drinking 2- 2 liters of pepsi and eating fast food at least 4 times a week, I am getting excited about drinking an elixir in a cool looking bottle and eating organic foods. I don't care if it is food coloring in that elixir and talc in the mixes...I am excited about eating real food for once and exercising and some guy in a I -think- I- am -super sexy athlete costume and a hater attitude didn't get me there, Organic Liaison and Kirstie Alley did....so suck it Mr Hater and anyone else like him. Leave me the hell alone and I will do you the same favor....Goodnight my loves, Love you!
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
10 Reasons Why I Don't Want To Be Fat
I have been thinking about my fat and contemplating my situation for some time now. I have come up with a list. 10 Reasons I don't Want To Be Fat
1. When you are fat sex is not as much fun.
2. I can't paint my own toenails.
3. We already talked about grooming the nether regions.
4. Can't run without injury.
5. Being naked is no longer enjoyable (I used to love being naked)
6. I have to wear a bra (34b said I didn't have to if I didn't want too.)
7. When you act flirty with someone they look at you like you have 3 heads.
8. It's always hot.
9. I can't breathe, ever.
10. My face looks like Violet after she chewed the gum in Willy Wonka.
1. When you are fat sex is not as much fun.
2. I can't paint my own toenails.
3. We already talked about grooming the nether regions.
4. Can't run without injury.
5. Being naked is no longer enjoyable (I used to love being naked)
6. I have to wear a bra (34b said I didn't have to if I didn't want too.)
7. When you act flirty with someone they look at you like you have 3 heads.
8. It's always hot.
9. I can't breathe, ever.
10. My face looks like Violet after she chewed the gum in Willy Wonka.
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
My No Fat-Sex Rule Sucks....
I made a rule, yes, I did. Tisha does not have fat sex. I mean if I wouldn't date me why would I let some poor schmuck diddle me. I have some compassion. I mean just because he just wants to get his wick wet, why should I let him degrade himself with such low standards as to bone a chubby like me.
Let's face it girls, when you can't see your Va jay-jay and you can't afford to have it waxed professionally, it could be a lethal weapon. Maybe I could have that survivor guy visit it. He may be able to get out alive...he's pretty resourceful. But until then it is off limits, what am I talking here? Years? Yes, years and I don't know, years, since I had hot, swinging from the ceiling, breaking the shower rod sex...thank you my hot, young X for your adventurous attitude. I only have the memories...but they are good! To tell you the truth, I am beginning to really miss it. Oh, I say I don't think about it. I am a spiritual advisor. With my meditation and stuff I should be able to control myself and feel like Mother Teresa right? Fuck it, I hope I drop 10 lbs a week on this diet...I am ready to jump back on the sex train....and I don't want stuff jiggling that isn't suppose to when I do...I must achieve non-jiggly sex before year end, I just must! With that I am going to go and think about working out and clean the kitchen. Can't wait to get started on my diet Kirstie! I just can't weight...oops, I really did type that...Freudian slip?...I think so...(Love you...) TubbyT.
A day in the life....
Just for the record, I am not able to hire a personal trainer. I have a pool I have to share with everyone in my apartment complex, in other words, not fat friendly and I don't own a treadmill. Did I mention I am not a writer? So get over the grammar glitches. (Love you...)
I do however, have a WII. You know the evil thing Kirstie hates because it tells you your OBESE? Well I do have one and I love it. So as I use Organic Liaison, which I can't afford to buy at the moment, I am using the WII. So I will post my "weigh- ins" daily here and I might even start to video them at Youtube.com keep a watch out. I will let you know if I get brave enough to go on camera.
I have been using the WII and to this point, I have lost and gained the same 1.8 lbs for the last two months. I don't know what that means but, I know I am still fat...the little voice comes on and says, "that's obese" in this cute little Alvin and the Chipmunks way. Gotta love it, I hate it. Fuck you little chipmunk voice, if I have to weigh in every friggin' day because you bitch at me when I don't, you need to save the "that's obese" and only use it once a week or so. I don't want to have to buy a new t.v.
So, my goal this week is to work out 1 hour a day. Using my various workout videos dating back to Jane Fonda Low Impact circa what? 1988-89? all the way to Slim in 6, which has been purchased paid for but never in the DVD player. I want to drink 30 oz of water a day and cut down to 1- 2 liter of pepsi a day or less.
Oh and don't judge, the reason why I am not buying my starter kit of Organic Liaison this week is because I feel strongly that I need a new phone that I can "Phitter", Twitter and Facebook with, because of course that is more important than actually starting the diet that I am Phittering, Twittering, and Facebooking about. This is me, learn to love it. I am out to clean the house and prepare to "essercise" (said in a whisper). (Love you...) TubbyTisha
I do however, have a WII. You know the evil thing Kirstie hates because it tells you your OBESE? Well I do have one and I love it. So as I use Organic Liaison, which I can't afford to buy at the moment, I am using the WII. So I will post my "weigh- ins" daily here and I might even start to video them at Youtube.com keep a watch out. I will let you know if I get brave enough to go on camera.
I have been using the WII and to this point, I have lost and gained the same 1.8 lbs for the last two months. I don't know what that means but, I know I am still fat...the little voice comes on and says, "that's obese" in this cute little Alvin and the Chipmunks way. Gotta love it, I hate it. Fuck you little chipmunk voice, if I have to weigh in every friggin' day because you bitch at me when I don't, you need to save the "that's obese" and only use it once a week or so. I don't want to have to buy a new t.v.
So, my goal this week is to work out 1 hour a day. Using my various workout videos dating back to Jane Fonda Low Impact circa what? 1988-89? all the way to Slim in 6, which has been purchased paid for but never in the DVD player. I want to drink 30 oz of water a day and cut down to 1- 2 liter of pepsi a day or less.
Oh and don't judge, the reason why I am not buying my starter kit of Organic Liaison this week is because I feel strongly that I need a new phone that I can "Phitter", Twitter and Facebook with, because of course that is more important than actually starting the diet that I am Phittering, Twittering, and Facebooking about. This is me, learn to love it. I am out to clean the house and prepare to "essercise" (said in a whisper). (Love you...) TubbyTisha
My Not So Big Life...
Ok, so, here it goes. First of all let me introduce myself. My name is Tisha and I am fat. I wasn't always fat, in fact, I thought I was kind of cute and slim. But low and behold, after a rough couple of years and thanks to Pepsi Cola...yes, when you drink 2 -2 liters a day, you will gain weight...I am now 197 lbs and miserable.
Being fat isn't fun, it isn't beautiful and it isn't empowering. It is sloppy, lazy, sweaty and just freaking gross. I don't care what anyone says, you cannot be happy and healthy mentally or otherwise if you are fat.
Enter Kirstie Alley into my Life, I don't mean she entered my life, I am not psychotic, well maybe that is a stretch, but anyway, I have never met Kirstie, but I identify with her. I used to do the club scene. In my tiny little universe, I was pretty popular. I could sing, dance and I am damn funny, more than a little crazy, I had it going on. Then I started to gain weight. I started noticing about the same time I was bitching about my weight, so was Kirstie Alley. I bought the tabloids, I watched Fat Actress and I met my new best friend. Except when Kirstie did Jenny Craig, I couldn't afford it. So as Kirstie lost the weight, I remained flat on my back talking to my clients, I am a psychic, spiritual counselor, drinking Pepsi and remaining fat. I was very disappointed that Fat Actress didn't continue and I just spiraled.
You know you are depressed when you can't remember the last time you showered, you know you did one time recently, but you can't remember. Your house is a maze of empty Pepsi two liters and you hope you remembered to brush your hair just before you enter the corner store to pick up your next two liter. I was a mess. I am still a mess, but something has occurred. Kirstie Alley is back. As I watch with my daughter and we laugh and laugh, I realize that I am not the only fat mess out there. My life while weird and lonely isn't all that different from a lot of you out there. I can lose weight. I can have friends and yes, I might even get laid one more time before I die. I will lose weight Kirstie style. Organic Liaison, here I come!
Being fat isn't fun, it isn't beautiful and it isn't empowering. It is sloppy, lazy, sweaty and just freaking gross. I don't care what anyone says, you cannot be happy and healthy mentally or otherwise if you are fat.
Enter Kirstie Alley into my Life, I don't mean she entered my life, I am not psychotic, well maybe that is a stretch, but anyway, I have never met Kirstie, but I identify with her. I used to do the club scene. In my tiny little universe, I was pretty popular. I could sing, dance and I am damn funny, more than a little crazy, I had it going on. Then I started to gain weight. I started noticing about the same time I was bitching about my weight, so was Kirstie Alley. I bought the tabloids, I watched Fat Actress and I met my new best friend. Except when Kirstie did Jenny Craig, I couldn't afford it. So as Kirstie lost the weight, I remained flat on my back talking to my clients, I am a psychic, spiritual counselor, drinking Pepsi and remaining fat. I was very disappointed that Fat Actress didn't continue and I just spiraled.
You know you are depressed when you can't remember the last time you showered, you know you did one time recently, but you can't remember. Your house is a maze of empty Pepsi two liters and you hope you remembered to brush your hair just before you enter the corner store to pick up your next two liter. I was a mess. I am still a mess, but something has occurred. Kirstie Alley is back. As I watch with my daughter and we laugh and laugh, I realize that I am not the only fat mess out there. My life while weird and lonely isn't all that different from a lot of you out there. I can lose weight. I can have friends and yes, I might even get laid one more time before I die. I will lose weight Kirstie style. Organic Liaison, here I come!
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